100% Urgent! Please Answer!?
Can you tell me if this speech I had to write is persuasive enough, and if it makes sense or skips around too much? Please and thank you, you will be rewarded.
Senior Prom is usually thought of as the last big dance of your high school years and is normally made out to be of great importance. Most people tend to go all out for this event as an attempt to have the final year of high school go out with a big bang. You try your hardest to get the date your dreams; you buy a brand new overpriced dress or rent a tux for the special event, go out to dinner at a fancy restaurant, and rent either a limo or an extravagant car of some sort for the night. You want more than ever for this night to be perfect, everything you ever wanted, but wait, there’s a problem! The school made a mistake on the budgeting of the Junior Prom that was held the year before and you are now left to out live this dream in you claustrophobic, non-air-conditioned, and so small, you’ll feel like you’re in a most pit at a rock concert; gymnasium. And even better, they couldn’t pay the live band which was you’re favorite band in the world, so you’re stuck with your principals brother as the DJ who refuses to play anything but music form the good old days. There goes the night you’ve been waiting for since the beginning of your high school career right down the drain just because the Junior Prom had used too much of the schools budget. You hadn’t even gone to the Junior Prom last year in order to save up for the one the actually mattered, and you’d even heard that it wasn’t that great due to the fact that the amount of overcrowding was unbelievable. If only, if only you’re school had been one of they school ‘crazy’ enough to only have Senior Prom.
Lucky for us, the students of Jefferson high school, we are one of those schools. Our school has had a history of success in the prom area, and I would like to believe it is because we don’t waste time or money with engaging in the event of a separate Junior Prom and Senior Prom or even a combined Junior-Senior Prom like many of the schools around us. The school of Jefferson high school is highly overcrowded as you know from the earlier debate on needing more lunch periods, and the difficulty of getting to the opposite side of the building within our five minute passing time. If we were to have a combined Junior-Senior Prom, we would have to spend a lot of money on place big enough to avoid being jammed in like we’ve been sealed in a vacuum pack freezer bag, which would result in school spending that we just cannot afford. I’m sure the possibility of having a separate Junior Prom and Senior Prom is probably popping into your little brains as an alternative option, but really, think about that for a moment. Sure, the place you would be purchasing a less expensive place to have the dance, but they would also be purchasing it for two proms instead of one, you would have to have different themes for each one so you’d have to buy or make different decorations for each one, get photographers for two separate dates. You also manage to save money yourself by not having to buy two dresses or rent two tuxes as well as many other things. So, by having a Senior Prom and only a Senior Prom we are getting many advantages, the main one saving money to make the prom night that matters the one you’ve been dreaming about.
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2 Responses to “100% Urgent! Please Answer!?”
nats b says:
January 27, 2010 at 8:43 pm
you would need to make it sound a bit more professional and not so childlike.
otherwise its good
kieran says:
January 28, 2010 at 12:52 am
The first paragraph is needed, but lengthy. Try to remove some of the description while still keeping the point of the speech tied in. You should also mention early on that there is only a Senior Prom at this high school. The second paragraph is good overall but could be slightly condensed. I believe it does prove a good point though. Very persuasive.